A Leader’s Feeling
I cried in the second time, I have to sacrifice my feeling only for being a good leader in their eyes. I’m not a girl who always faces all problems by crying. I’m a girl who is string enough to face everything. A leader has to accept critics from other people. Although, the statement isn’t valid in a real life. Sometimes I have to follow their way of thinking. When they adviced me that my way wasn’t the correct way, I accept it, but they’ve never undesrtand my way. I don’twant to give up, but these tears are my prayers so I can be better to be a real leader.
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This is my story when I’m a girl who doesn’t know well about organization. I’m SMA Merah Putih’s student in the tenth grade. I’ve just faced MOS with my new classmates in X.10. MOS experience in senior high school is a new white paper which will be written by red ink. Red here means a new challenge in the life that used to be ever made me jealous ith my bestfriend named Naya, she is perfect in arguing. Arguing is a simple thing, but it is a big challenge for me because a big mentality is very needed in giving argument. They see their friends argue in front of them in MOS evaluation is really scaring. From that you can freely tell it as wide as Atlantic Ocean. So the key of arguing is bravery not the content of the opinion.
The first organization that I join is Scout. If I remember the word which contained five letters, the memory in Junior Hifh School come back. DP (Dewan Penggalang) is a name of Scout organization in Junior High School. At that time I was a girl who was afraid to socialite with a new person with characteristic which I hated or maybe I was too foolish because I didn’t like to sozialite with stranger. Sometimes I remember my mom’s advice that sozialization is important in the future.
In Scout, I get all the meaning of true scoutgirl from teoritical side, tradition side, and organization side. I start to adjust myself the Scout’s environment. I feel different when I face higher level that means we have to adapt with many condition. Disciplin is a special characteristic in Scout. Disciplin in many side like uniform, time, and so on.
Passing camp activities together is the opening of joining Scout. We have to lead and prepare everything in short time. I have to forget my bad habit of avoiding socialization and left it a moment. At last everything is well because of my friend’s help that is Sinta, a girl with brilliant mind, mature attitude, and not only smart in the lesson but also in socialization. In my eyes she’s a perfect girl.
Senior High School is the most beautiful moment. Especially for feeling. Seeing many seniors sitting together with their couple in the yard, I observe them per couple, hearing gossips from my talkative friends in economic lesson. Mrs. Fatma teaches us that lesson, but we don’t like her way of teaching. Although Mrs. Fatma is a very smart teacher like Sri Mulyani but her way of teaching is zero. She can’t explain well, my friend and I can’t catch her words. In my mind how smart a teacher is, if he can’t make a good socialization . She is like a a teacher who starts from a low level. That’s me! I can make an opinion but can’t do it.
There are a lot of romantic couple there, but after all a couple who admire is Siska and Fatir. Because Siska is the same as Sinta’s character. That makes them look a healt couple. I realize why I can’t be like them as what my mom said.
Friday, the second week of October is a suprising day. Oral Scout evaluation took for two hours. My heart emotion is closed by black clouds, my hands earn sweat, I want to batter down the door to change senior’s attention. I’m afraid to talk anything and I only stick in my position. The evaluation is over becausemy friends can solve the case and brave to argue. I’m embarassed and sad “why I can’t do that? Do I too foolosh?”. Suddenly in the closing evaluation, my name is called by seniors and I’m pointed as the chairman of outbond activity. I’m so socked , I don’t know how it could like this, but from this I relly want to erase my bad habit.
In the home, I think how is the best way so all Scout member can work maximumly. I focus on making my own inovation. The first meeting with senior, at first I can’t lead well and I like a child who start to speak. Bravery is the key, although I’m not a resulate girl but sometime I really want to angry when thry don’t respect my sacrifice. I try to be patient and find the way to realize them from their selfish in this condition a chairman’s feeling is tested by many pressurer.
My job has finished, now it’s the next chairman of the next activity turn. I feel a wonderfull feeling and very proud of myself when it’s over. However, a feel sad remembering thememory full of secrifice together with my friend in Scout. Here I study a big thing that is “If you’ve ever been the leader that means you’re the foundation of the next leader”.
I’m worried because the next period will be lead by Chika. At the first time I know her, she didn’t repect me as the leader, she was a bad girl who always thought about herself. But I’m the senior now, I have to be a wise person, and I’ve known what the leader’s feeling.i want to help my friend from many presurer.
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Now the tears are over, I have to study in many side since I’ve been the leader of Scout. I have changed, my bad habit is lost. I’m still a child who has to face many problems by positive thinking. But there’s one thing that I lost since I become the leader. It is my best friend named Ayu, she is my bestfriend since we have been in Junior High School and we separated in different SMA. We have been rarely together, everytime I want to hung out with her, I’m too tired, and I’ve not made a long communication for fourteen months. She has her own bestfriend but she never forget me that makes me sad, jealous, and it shold be me beside her. I’m afraid I’m not a good bestfriend for her, I think this is my biggest sacrifice as the leader.
If I were a president, I never know how big my sacrifice is! and how hard my heart presurer is! Someone who said that SBY isn’t fit with their way, can’t lead well, it’s the big mistake that you’ve ever said. They don’t know well what the leader meaning and the leader’s feeling. If you want to talk like that think again “What have you ever done for your country?”.
Everytime pray I said to God, “God please lead me as the real leader, make me understand and be the best leader in my friend and my bestfriend’s eyes. Like my my name that had been give by mother “Sanny Kartini” which means the sun of leader’s life.
"Gagah, mengagumkan, jujur dalam tugasnya adalah seorang pemimpin yang tiada taranya....."
"I HOPE I CAN BE THE BEST LEADER.. "
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